{"id":735,"date":"2020-01-07T19:40:45","date_gmt":"2020-01-07T19:40:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.lisabradshaw.com\/?p=735"},"modified":"2020-01-07T19:52:19","modified_gmt":"2020-01-07T19:52:19","slug":"dis-a-worthwhile-read","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.lisabradshaw.com\/?p=735","title":{"rendered":"Dis.. a worthwhile read"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"735\" class=\"elementor elementor-735 elementor-bc-flex-widget\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-9af529f elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"9af529f\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-d42d654\" data-id=\"d42d654\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f2d9397 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"f2d9397\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>I don&#8217;t normally post a long story but this is a life changing read. I am mostly positive but this just takes it to another level. I find being grateful so much easier.. I jump out of bed knowing I&#8217;m going to have a Dis day..\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-bfdafaa elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"bfdafaa\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-69d6ab2\" data-id=\"69d6ab2\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-67d00b6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"67d00b6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"649\" height=\"365\" src=\"https:\/\/blog.lisabradshaw.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/dis.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-738\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blog.lisabradshaw.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/dis.jpg 649w, https:\/\/blog.lisabradshaw.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/dis-300x169.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 649px) 100vw, 649px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-e5d12ed elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"e5d12ed\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-bd8b4f6\" data-id=\"bd8b4f6\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-de99130 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"de99130\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul style=\"margin-left: .375in; direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: embed; margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0in;\" type=\"disc\"><li style=\"margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; vertical-align: middle; color: black;\"><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">From<\/span><span lang=\"fr\" style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><span lang=\"fr\" style=\"font-family: 'Times Classic Bold'; font-size: 11.0pt;\">The Weekend Australian Magazine<br \/><\/span><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">November 22, 2019<\/span><\/li><li style=\"margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; vertical-align: middle; color: black;\"><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; color: black;\">13 MIN<\/span><span lang=\"fr\" style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; color: black;\">UTE\u00a0<\/span><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; color: black;\">READ<br \/><\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theaustralian.com.au\/weekend-australian-magazine\/out-of-india-hugh-van-cuylenburg-and-the-resilience-project\/news-story\/61e08684e74bfce53ac6bbc9222497d4?fbclid=IwAR2TVVvvp9z9sFoSWROXSHyfxKLiNTyawhVgcis45hDThrzOTPgJhdG5q5g#story-comments\"><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">38<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\"><span lang=\"en-GB\">I<\/span> <span lang=\"en-GB\">really didn\u2019t want to go to India. I was happy in Melbourne. I had a fulfilling job as a teacher and a hometown brimming with opportunities to do the things I loved. If I was hungry I could walk to my favourite cafes. If I fancied a beer I could pull up a stool in my local pub and if I was craving social or psychological nourishment I was blessed with amazing friends and family. Why would I want to suddenly go to India?<\/span><\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">Her name was Anjali. We\u2019d met at university \u2013 she was also studying education \u2013 and I had fallen hopelessly in love. Anjali was half-Indian and half-Australian, and in 2008 she wished to go to India for half a year. I had just coached my beloved Melbourne University Cricket Club to a club championship, but as much as I wanted to stay home and focus on my cricket and my work at Fintona Girls\u2019 School, I soon found myself stepping off a plane into the madness that is Mumbai.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">Anjali had been talking about doing some teaching in India, which led to us travelling to a remote village in the folds of the Himalayas in the far north of India to volunteer at a local school. Nothing could have prepared me for the beauty of the Ladakh region. It sits on the edge of a high-\u00adaltitude desert plain ringed by snow-capped peaks that reach into a vivid blue sky. The villagers look more Tibetan than Indian, and they struck me as the nicest, most gracious people I had ever met. The school principal was good enough to put us up in his home, a modest mud hut. Like everybody else in the village we slept on the floor.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">The mud-brick school rose unremarkably out of the hard, dry Himalayan desert plain. It was a fairly basic institution; most classrooms had only one table and one chair for the teachers, while the 150 students, ranging from four to 16 years of age, sat on the dirt floor. The children were well behaved, quiet and attentive. But there was something else: every one of them seemed to be in great spirits every day. They radiated happiness. Early in our stay the principal assigned four Year 3 boys to show me around the grounds. The first stop was the play equipment. Never before had I seen such a depressing sight in a school playground: a swing set and a seesaw that would have looked at home in post-meltdown Chernobyl.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">My little tour guides stood in front of this \u00adhaphazard tangle of useless metal and jerked their thumbs at it. \u201cHey sir,\u201d they said, \u201clook at this.\u201d They were excited and proud to show me their amazing play equipment. They didn\u2019t need it to work the way it had been designed to; they invented different games to play on it, including swinging on the rusty chains or just hanging off them for as long as they could.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">I was besotted with all of the children at the school, but one boy stole my heart. His name was Stanzin, he was nine years old and he remains the kindest person I have ever met. The first time I walked into Stanzin\u2019s classroom I didn\u2019t notice how low the doorframe was and I smacked my forehead upon entry. When I walked back into the classroom the following day, little Stanzin was standing near the doorway with a big smile on his face. He pointed at the top of the doorframe. He had found a length of cloth and filled it with sand and leaves, then tied it to the spot where I\u2019d nearly knocked myself out the day before. Then he smiled and beckoned me to look down the hallway. He had rigged each doorway he deemed a danger to me with some kind of DIY padding.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">I soon realised I wasn\u2019t the only person \u00adStanzin showed a genuine concern for. If he ever noticed one of his classmates was alone at lunchtime, he would stop what he was doing and go straight over to them. \u201cAre you all right?\u201d he would ask. No matter what was going on in his life, Stanzin would put it to one side in order to help someone else. \u201cThis kid,\u201d I said to Anjali, \u201chas got to be the most caring, selfless and truly happy person I\u2019ve ever met.\u201d<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">One night I found myself wandering the streets of the village and as I made my way back to the mud-brick home we were staying in, I saw something that changed my life forever. It was my little mate Stanzin in his school uniform, getting ready to go to sleep. I went over to him and said hello. He was sleeping on the ground in basic conditions, like many other people in the village. He had a huge smile on his face. I smiled back at him as I said goodbye and turned around to head home, all the while fighting an overwhelming urge to cry.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">I didn\u2019t sleep a wink that night. I thought of all the people I knew back home in Australia, and the students I\u2019d taught over the years who\u2019d struggled with depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses. Why were we in the developed world so broken? Why were we in Australia, such a privileged country, so anxious and depressed? So many questions were bouncing around in my mind.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">It wasn\u2019t just Stanzin who seemed to have found the secret to happiness; virtually everyone I got to know in this remote village was the same. I\u2019m not suggesting that people in developing nations don\u2019t struggle with mental health, but I did know that there was something very special about the attitude of these villagers.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-size: 11.0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: 'Times Classic Bold';\">Stanzin would turn up to class each day with<\/span><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">anotebook and a pencil, and so did I \u2013 in order to take notes on him. I kept a very close eye on what he did each day and studied his patterns of \u00adbehaviour. One lunchtime, as they were running out to play, I walked over to Stanzin as he was \u00adlacing up his shoes. \u201cSir, look. Look!\u201d he said, pointing at his feet. \u201cSir, dis!\u201d In Ladakh, people find it almost impossible to make the \u201cth\u201d sound with their tongue pressed behind their teeth, so I knew \u00adStanzin was saying \u201cthis\u201d.<\/span><\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-size: 11.0pt;\"><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">Not all of his friends had shoes. Stanzin must have owned his cherished pair for a couple of years because, as his feet had grown, he had cut the ends off the uppers to allow his toes to protrude. It wasn\u2019t just shoes that families struggled to afford. Most kids didn\u2019t have anything to bring to school for lunch, so each day we fed them plain rice. The way Stanzin and his friends reacted when presented with a bowl of rice, you\u2019d have thought they were eating chocolate cake. \u201cSir, dis!<\/span><span lang=\"fr\" style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">\u00a0<\/span><span lang=\"fr\" style=\"font-family: 'Times Classic Italic';\">Dis!<\/span><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">\u201d Stanzin would say, pointing at the bowl between mouthfuls. In other words, \u201cSir, how good is it that we get lunch at school?\u201d<\/span><\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">Another thing I noticed the villagers did was meditation. Between 8.30am and 9am, before classes started, the students would assemble in the yard where they would sit in silence and focus on being in the moment. \u201cSo, they\u2019re praying are they?\u201d I asked a teacher. \u201cNo,\u201d he said, \u201cthey\u2019re doing meditation.\u201d It was optional \u2013 but every child turned up early because they didn\u2019t want to miss out. There had to be something in that.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">The people of the village weren\u2019t impervious to trauma, sadness, hardship and loss, of course, but they dealt with the vicissitudes of life differently to the way I\u2019d been used to. After three months there, I felt I understood why they were such a happy community. Ultimately, there were three principles they practised every day that were key to their resilient world view and happy disposition: gratitude (the ability to pay attention to what you have instead of worrying about what you don\u2019t have); empathy (the ability to feel what another person is feeling) and mindfulness (the ability to focus on the present moment). Villagers faced daily hardships and pressures, often more acute than most of ours in the West, but they managed their responses differently.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">The trip was a watershed in my life. As much as I had loved my time on the subcontinent, I was excited to return to Australia. I was desperate to get back into the classroom so I could integrate all of these lessons into my own teaching. In 2010 I started studying part-time for my Master of \u00adEducation at RMIT. The course offered a lot of autonomy, so I was able to structure my learning around student mental health and wellbeing. One of the first things I studied was gratitude. When I read the work of renowned American psychologist Martin Seligman, I nearly fell off my chair. Widely known as the founder of positive psychology, Seligman showed that we can, in effect, retrain our brains so we feel happier on a day-to-day basis. In a classic study, he and other researchers described a simple technique: to write down three things that went well each day, every day, along with an explanation for why each good thing happened.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-size: 11.0pt;\"><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">Seligman\u2019s research chimed with my experiences in India. I had seen Stanzin routinely accentuate the positives in his daily life, only he went one step further: he noted these<\/span><span lang=\"fr\" style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">\u00a0<\/span><span lang=\"fr\" style=\"font-family: 'Times Classic Italic';\">in the moment<\/span><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">. He stopped what he was doing and pointed to whatever he was grateful for in any given moment: \u201c<\/span><span lang=\"fr\" style=\"font-family: 'Times Classic Italic';\">Dis!<\/span><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">\u201d<\/span><\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">Not long after I\u2019d returned (and devastated by a break-up with Anjali), I got chatting with a \u00adformer colleague at Fintona about my experiences in India. \u201cYou should come in one day and give a talk to my class,\u201d she offered. A week later I was back in front of the girls I\u2019d taught a year earlier. I hadn\u2019t prepared what I was going to say; I just hoped to illustrate the ways the kids in India experienced school as opposed to the \u00adFintona girls with their amazing facilities. Gauging from the silence in the room and the wide-eyed looks on their faces when I finished, they took it in.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">Though I\u2019d never done anything like it before, I discovered I loved sharing such a positive message with children. It was the first step on a long road that would eventually lead to the creation of what I called The Resilience Project. Thanks to this word-of-mouth chain, I was soon speaking at 10 schools a week. I invested all the money we had made from the talks into the development of a curriculum and we also produced 21-day and six-month wellbeing journals for adults. By the end of 2014, The Resilience Project had been adopted in 500 schools across the country. And early this year, our schools program manager informed me that in 2019 we would have 110,000 kids involved with our curriculum or presentations.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-size: 11.0pt;\"><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: 'Times Classic Bold';\">On a stinking hot Saturday afternoon in<\/span><span lang=\"fr\" style=\"font-family: 'Times Classic Bold';\">\u00a0<\/span><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">February 2015 I was padded up and ready to go in to bat for Melbourne University. We had a young new player in our side and his dad had come along, so I wandered over and introduced myself. His name was Brian Phelan and after chatting for a while he asked what I did outside cricket. I told him about The Resilience Project. \u201cYou should come to my work and speak,\u201d he said. Brian worked at the Melbourne Storm rugby league club and I figured he wanted me to talk to members of the club\u2019s back-end staff. Two days later, Brian phoned as promised. I asked him, \u201cWho is it you want me to talk to exactly?\u201d<\/span><\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">\u201cTo the players!\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m the player welfare manager.\u201d A few days later I arrived early at the Storm\u2019s home ground at AAMI Park. After Brian\u2019s introduction, I managed to park my nerves and launch into my presentation. About five minutes in, I realised I had totally underestimated the power of the message; the players looked completely engaged, leaning forward and listening intently to every word. Brian later informed me that club leaders Cameron Smith, Cooper Cronk and Billy Slater wanted the program to be rolled out across the entire club. All of them championed The Resilience Project and wove GEM (gratitude, empathy and mindfulness) not only into the fabric of their club but into their personal lives, too. I was thrilled the day Slater sent me a message asking for a couple more resilience \u00adjournals so his family could get stuck in as well.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">Over the next seven months I spent a week with each NRL club. The guys seemed to be captivated by the stories about Stanzin and his appreciation for everything he considered good in his life. They loved the idea of being so grateful to have basic comforts that one might point to them and say, \u201cDis!\u201d I asked some Storm players if they\u2019d like to do the \u201cDis Challenge\u201d, which had proven \u00adpopular in schools. \u201cIt\u2019s simple,\u201d I said. \u201cOver the next 24 hours, whenever you see something you\u2019re very grateful for \u2013 I don\u2019t care where you are or who you\u2019re with \u2013 I\u2019d like you to stop, point to it and say \u2018Dis!\u2019\u201d They were keen to give it a go.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-size: 11.0pt;\"><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: 'Times Classic Bold';\">The Resilience Project started to attract a bit<\/span><span lang=\"fr\" style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">\u00a0<\/span><span lang=\"en-GB\" style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">ofpublicity during the time I worked with the NRL, so it wasn\u2019t a great surprise when some clubs in the AFL sought our help in player welfare. One of the first teams I spoke to was the Richmond \u00adFootball Club. I arrived at Punt Road Oval armed with copies of our 21-day wellbeing journal. After I delivered the talk, the players filed past and took a journal each from the pile. When star midfielder Dustin Martin walked past he looked at me and then at the stack of journals, grabbed 10 and left. Exactly 210 days later, I received a text message. I didn\u2019t recognise the number. \u201cHi mate,\u201d it read. \u201cFinished the journals. Can you please send me some more? It\u2019s Dusty.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">\u201cSorry, Dusty who?\u201d I texted back.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">\u201cIt\u2019s Dustin Martin, Richmond Football Club. Every day I write down all the things that go well for me, the things I\u2019m so grateful for. It\u2019s unbelievable how much it has changed me but I don\u2019t want to miss another day. Can you please send me some more journals?\u201d Earlier this year, Dustin and I spoke at a conference together. He told the audience he was up to 1086 consecutive days of doing the Resilience \u00adProject journal.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">At Collingwood Football Club, too, the story of Stanzin made a huge impact on the players. One day I noticed captain Scott Pendlebury had posted a photo on social media with the caption, \u201cDis moment #gratitude.\u201d<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">\u201cWhat\u2019s that about?\u201d I asked when I saw him.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">\u201cThat little boy you told us about,\u201d Pendlebury replied. \u201cI really loved that story. I\u2019m living out my dream with footy, but we can all get stuck thinking about the negatives in life. His story has really helped me to see the positives. And by the way, next time you\u2019re watching, pay close attention to Adam Treloar. If you can get a photo of his wrist, just have a close look.\u201d<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">\u201cHow come?\u201d I asked.<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">\u201cJust have a look.\u201d<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;\">It turned out that after the Resilience Project talk, star midfielder Treloar \u2013 who has since revealed he\u2019s battled severe anxiety during his career \u2013 had started writing \u201cDIS\u201d in large black letters on his wrist strapping before every game, tapping his wrist and saying to himself, \u201cAdam, you are blessed\u201d. When I saw him next, I asked him what made him feel blessed \u2013 was it being grateful to play AFL in front of all those people? \u201cI live in \u00adAustralia,\u201d he replied. \u201cWe get food, we get water, we get shelter. I remind myself of that whenever I get stressed. \u2018Dis\u2019 means this life in this country, every day.\u201d<\/p><p style=\"margin: 0in; font-family: 'Times Classic Italic'; font-size: 11.0pt;\">Edited extract from The Resilience Project \u2013 Finding Happiness Through Gratitude, Empathy and Mind\u00adfulness by Hugh van Cuylenburg (Ebury, $35).<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I don&#8217;t normally post a long story but this is a life changing read. I am mostly positive but this just takes it to another level. I find being grateful so much easier.. I jump out of bed knowing I&#8217;m going to have a Dis day..\u00a0 From\u00a0The Weekend Australian MagazineNovember 22, 2019 13 MINUTE\u00a0READ38 I 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